Unless you’ve spent the last week under a rock, or, lucky for you, not in America, it is impossible to be unaware of the current political uprising that has taken over the country. Despite every single poll promising otherwise, Donald J. Trump has become the President-elect of the United States. However, in an unforeseen plot twist, democratic nominee, Hillary Clinton, won the popular vote which has unsurprisingly elicited outrage across the country. Trump will not officially take office until January 20, 2017, which will hopefully give Clinton supporters time to go through the five stages of grief as they process this unexpected loss. With that being said, these are the five stages of grief as I so far have witnessed and experienced them.

Stage 1: Denial

I have been feeling the Trump denial ever since he announced he was running for president on June 16, 2015. I felt denial when other Republican nominees began dropping like flies. I felt denial  when Trump officially became the Republican presidential nominee. However, I was feeling pretty confident in the nights leading up to the election, after not a single poll predicted Trump’s presidency. As soon as the votes started pouring in I sat down with a couple cupcakes, decorated with a blue H, of course, and watched. At first I felt okay, despite the red that began popping up on the electoral map like zits. It was around the time that CNN declared Florida “too close to call,” that I began feeling a knot forming in my stomach. Skipping ahead a bit to stage three, I began a bargaining process with my TV. “He can have Florida as long as she gets Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, okay America?” Spoiler alert, all of those states turned red soon after. It was around midnight when my dad finally told me to go to bed. So I went to bed, and immediately turned on my laptop. I refreshed Huffington Post every 15 seconds for another 45 minutes, refusing to believe I was being cheated of my first female president. I don’t remember what state it was, but after one hit of the refresh button Trump’s electoral count went up to 264, and I shut my laptop, went to bed, and said “In the morning Hillary will have won and everything will be great.” I really played myself there.

Stage 2: Anger

I don’t know why I had such a strong reaction to Hillary losing the election, but when I realized that Donald Trump honestly and truly won the election, I could feel my own blood boil. I don’t know if it was the promise of the tsunami of ignorant Twitter posts, the fact that women voted for a man who had gloated of sexually assaulting women like it was a triumph, or maybe just the fact that something I had believed in was wrong. Either way, I was livid when it really hit me Trump had become our president-elect. Within 24 hours of the election, I had refrained from angrily entering six Twitter fights, had sat down for the Pledge of Allegiance, and had nearly fought at least two people. I’m not endorsing violence, but I was really angry. Especially after I learned that a huge number of white women voted for Trump. I felt abandoned by my gender, who so easily dismissed the allegations made by women, just like us, against this man. I guess a naive part of me thought that even though not everyone loved Clinton, women would unite to elect the first president of our gender in a monumentally historic moment. That didn’t happen, obviously, and I had a couple choice words for the women who voted Trump for a while, and then I realized anger wouldn’t fix anything. But do you know what I thought might? Bargaining.

Stage 3: Bargaining

For a solid 15 minutes I thought that somehow writing to every electoral voter and begging them to please vote for Hillary would change the outcome of the election. Not my brightest 15 minutes, sure, but the stages of grief don’t always make sense.

Stage 4: Depression

As far as sadness goes, I have been pretty okay since the aftermath of election night. I have cried once (But come on. Who didn’t cry when Hillary addressed the little girls of America, saying “never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.” I really wanted a female president, okay?) More than sadness, I felt a gut wrenching fear when Trump was elected. Fear for my gender, for my POC friends, for my LGBTQ+ friends, for my immigrant friends. For the most part, I will not be as negatively affected by the Trump presidency as others, as a straight, white citizen of the United States. However, almost every single one of my friends are a part of a group that had been at one point marginalized by the Trump campaign, and my heart hurt for them when he became elected. It took me several days to finally get rid of the fear I felt of the rape culture, xenophobic culture, racist culture, and homophobic culture being endorsed by the Trump presidency. The horror stories emerging on Twitter and amongst my own friends about negative comments made towards them because of the Trump presidency absolutely terrified me, and while they have died down a bit, there is a part of me that will be scared for the next four years.

Stage 5: Acceptance

This is the only stage of grief I haven’t gone through yet, and I’m not sure if I ever will. A more appropriate fifth stage, for me at least, would be unity. It is undeniable that America is very much a nation divided, which is a concept I hate but agree with. In the last week, however, the U.S has surprisingly felt more united than it has in months. Videos emerging from Trump protests with men yelling about the importance of a woman’s choice have given me hope. Republicans and Democrats coming together to say “I don’t hate you, and we’re going to get through this” offers a sense of faith. The knowledge that the majority of American citizens did not vote for a bigoted, racist, homophobic, misogynistic man gives me the smallest feeling of security. I don’t respect Trump, and I’m sorry if that offends anyone reading this. I don’t think that the title “President” earns respect, I think actions do. In my opinion, the president-elect has not exhibited actions in the course of his political campaign that have worked to earn my respect. I think that the protests that have swept the nation are inspiring, and while they may not change the electoral map, they do demonstrate an aspect of America that I think is beautiful. In tough times, the American people will unite and voice their opinions. The message across LA, Dallas, Chicago and New York is the same. “Love Trumps Hate.” Love will continue to unite this nation in the months to come, and while we may never feel the fifth stage of grief, we will continue to feel united.

If you are not happy about the results of the election, don’t let your passion go to waste. Here are five ways you can help causes that may interest you.

1. Donate to Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood offers safe sex resources to young women and men across America. PP offers birth control and other contraceptives, STD checks, informative sex education, and more to teenagers and adults across the the country.
2. Donate to The Trevor Project, a nonprofit organization that council’s LGBTQ+ youth through some of their hardest moments. The Trevor Project has a nationwide outreach that encourages and supports young members of the LGBTQ+ community, as well as helps prevent teen suicide in the community.
3. Visit the True Islam website, a campaign for Muslim American youth and non Americans looking to understand how to distinguish Muslims from extremists. The campaign educates on what is Islam, what is terrorism, and how they are not the same thing.
4. Visit the Texas Campaign for the Environment website, which hosts a plethora of environmental projects across Texas that you can take part in or donate to. This is the link for projects specifically happening in North Texas.
5. Write to your local, state and federal representatives about what you feel passionately about. Whether its LGBTQ+ rights, women’s rights, racial issues, environmental concerns, etc. You have representatives for a reason. Make your voice heard.